Posts tagged Rape Culture
Posts tagged Rape Culture
F I R S T L Y: Though this poster may seem humorous by nature, it was not intended as a joke because not only are rape jokes disgusting but I am as serious about my love for all things Harry Potter as I am about my stance on social and sexual politics. Rape is an unpleasant but extremely relevant topic in our times and combatting its culture is as important in the magical world as in the muggle world, so I hope that every child will be taught that using a love potion that comes in a can with a percentage on it is just as bad.
Because even Harry Potter can teach you to fight rape culture.
(Feel free to substitute “potions” for any mood or judgement-altering substances/drugs in the nonfictional world.)
What a great idea for how to teach lessons and raise points about rape culture through fantasy literature.
this THIS THIS THIS TW = rape
all dem love potions stuff in the Wizarding world was weeeird
and then knowing Voldemort was the result of rape because his mother made his father take love potions since before he was born.
Was it Seamus Finegan from Gryffindor who said his mother cast a love spell on his muggle father or something too?
Anyone else always feel super gross at the end of Midsummer’s Night’s Dream? Everyone is in a non consensual relationship and I’m supposed to feel HAPPY about that?
YAY fighting rape culture through geekery. (And Seamus’s mum just didn’t tell her husband she was a witch. She’s not a rapist, just a liar.)
Interesting thing: Rowling had women doing really dubious things regarding consent, to men. Unusual to see female perpetrators anywhere, especially in a YA-aimed book. I think this is truly magnificent.
The ending of The Perilous Gard says the best, best, best thing I’ve ever heard or read about love potions. I won’t spoil it for you (unless you ask), but go read that damn book.
[TW: RAPE CULTURE]
You know the guy who “accidentally” rapes women? The acquaintance who “misreads” the situation and “goes too far”? The longtime friend who genuinely thought you had consented, and is shocked when you tell him that, no, it was rape? Well, we’re not going to take that guy’s bullshit anymore. Thomas MacAulay Millar over at the Yes Means Yes! blog has crunched the numbers on “undetected” acquaintance rapists to figure out who this “accidental rapist” actually is.
Thomas looks at a study of 1882 college students who were asked four questions to determine if they had ever raped (or attempted to rape) anyone:
1) Have you ever attempted unsuccessfully to have intercourse with an adult by force or threat of force?
2) Have you ever had sexual intercourse with someone who did not want you to because they were too intoxicated to resist?
3) Have you ever had intercourse with someone by force or threat of force?
4) Have you ever had oral intercourse with someone by force or threat of force?
Questions like these are bound to lead to underreporting—what guy is going to admit to forcing a girl to give him head? As it turns out, a lot of guys will admit to this, 120 to be exact: That’s six percent of the survey’s respondents who copped to either rape or attempted rape. Importantly, Thomas notes, the survey does not actually ask these guys if they’ve ever exactly “raped” anyone:
If a survey asks men, for example, if they ever “had sexual intercourse with someone, even though they did not want to, because they were too intoxicated (on alcohol or drugs) to resist your sexual advances,” some of them will say yes, as long as the questions don’t use the “R” word.
And they didn’t just admit to raping—they admitted toraping repeatedly (as long as it’s not really “rape,” of course!) According to the study, a small percentage of men are responsible for committing a large portion of sexual assaults—that’s a whole lot of “accidents,” “misreadings,” and “gray areas”:
Of the 120 rapists in the sample, 44 reported only one assault. The remaining 76 were repeat offenders. These 76 men, 63% of the rapists, committed 439 rapes or attempted rapes, an average of 5.8 each (median of 3, so there were some super-repeat offenders in this group). Just 4% of the men surveyed committed over 400 attempted or completed rapes.
What does this mean about our “accidental” rapists?
a) The vast majority of acquaintance rapes are committed by the same people;
b) These people don’t see themselves as “rapists”;
c) They are, however, able recognize that they regularly threat, force, and intoxicate women in order to have sex with them.
Oops! There’s no “accident” here—these guys just deny, evade punishment, and repeat.
So, what do we do to stop these guys? Well, here’s a start: Let’s call them rapists. It’s not just rapists who fail to recognize these behaviors—threatening, forcing, incapacitating—as “real” rape. We all have to stop making excuses for calling a rapist a rapist—and doubting, minimizing, or lashing out against the people who do use that word. Women need to know that they can call their experiences “rape” and report them as crimes. They need to know that they can call their rapists “rapists,” even if the rapist is also someone’s “friend,” “acquaintance,” “co-worker,” “fraternity brother,” or “respected member of our community.” As Thomas says:
The men in your lives will tell you what they do. As long as the R word doesn’t get attached, rapists do self-report. The guy who says he sees a woman too drunk to know where she is as an opportunity is not joking. He’s telling you how he sees it. The guy who says, “bros before hos”, is asking you to make a pact.
The Pact. The social structure that allows the predators to hide in plain sight, to sit at the bar at the same table with everyone, take a target home, rape her, and stay in the same social circle because she can’t or won’t tell anyone, or because nobody does anything if she does. The pact to make excuses, to look for mitigation, to patch things over—to believe that what happens to our friends—what our friends do to our friends—is not (using Whoopi Goldberg’s pathetic apologetics) “rape-rape.”
… The rapists can’t be your friends, and if you are loyal to them even when faced with the evidence of what they do, you are complicit.
That last point is an important one. People who excuse rapists usually see that equation from the other end: “He’s my friend, so he can’t be a rapist.” We need to reverse that equation—”He’s a rapist, so he can’t be my friend.” Perhaps them we could begin addressing why the dictionary definition of rape is overlooked—threatening, forcing, and incapacitating for sex—in our to avoid applying the word—”rapist”—to anyone we know.
I didn’t write this so here’s the source
otherwise why did you go on the date? he didn’t do it to spend time with you, you’re a shrill dullard. he doesn’t give a shit about your AA hire career, he actually earned his position. he went on the date because he wants sex. you went on the date because you’re a conceited gold digger.
the revolution is coming ladies, less and less men are putting up with your intolerable behavior and hysterics. you brought this on yourselves, don’t blame me for pointing it out. you poisoned the waters, and men aren’t drinking from them anymore.
I’ve seen this getting reblogged, but not with the full text, so here it is in all of its ignorant misogynist glory.
Basically this is how rapists think. You believe a woman owes her body to you because you coughed up $30 for entrees and drinks. You believe there are any circumstances under which a woman is required to have sex with you.
This is why I hate and distrust all men’s right’s activists. Because this is their core belief: women are just dull conceited shrill hysterical banshees trying to manipulate hard-working honest men for their moniez and sperm.
Sometimes women go on dates to have sex too. But sometimes we want to get to know a guy (or girl, or other person) a bit more first. Sometimes people are looking for love. Or love AND sex. Sometimes you buy us dinner and YOU are dull and conceited and have heinously oppressive political views, and maybe we would have slept with you if you weren’t awful, but you are, and we don’t owe you sex EVER.
I managed to go on plenty of dates and get married, even with my feminazi bonerkiller man-eating ways. Ladies (and everyone else too): do NOT settle for an asshole like this. Under no circumstances do you owe anyone your body. There are worthy people out there who are capable of forming human relationships without demeaning all women and then pulling a “don’t blame me, I’m just sayin!!!” cop-out.
Jess did an awesome job of pointing out all/most of the WRONG in the statement, so I’ll just say:
PEOPLE SAY “DULLARD”
Also, it’s fewer and fewer men, FYI.
Men Can Stop Rape’s new College Bystander Intervention campaign.
Actual good anti rape campaign posters! They don’t shame victims, they ask people to examine their own actions and inactions and protect their friends. And not in a gross excuse for chivalry either, just as people keeping people safe.
I like this.
Yep I agree. I also like how it’s not tying a man taking action around rape to some imaginary alpha male/hypermasculine sort of thing. Like a real man would do such and such.
Hey look! It’s an anti-rape campaign based on being a decent human being! In all seriousness, this is marvelous. I bolded the above for emphasis.
This, this, this.
And I don’t wanna hear otherwise.
There are a ton of privileges to not experiencing sexual abuse.
Everyone experiences it differently but for me it goes a little like this:
I can’t watch anything that has to do with rape.
Hearing the word rape in public makes me cringe.
I cannot trust a single person on this planet.
It has resulted in me living with dissociation and borderline.
It has affected my relationships with people in a multi facet of ways.
For rape survivors it’s never over. It’s always happening. The event never left us. We live with it everyday. So next time you throw a rape joke around, don’t be surprised if I jump for your throat.
France eliminated sexual harassment from the penal code. From the article, in French (translation mine):
The Constitutional Council decided on Friday the immediate repeal of the law on sexual harassment that was considered too vague, effectively creating a loophole called catastrophic by feminist organizations. Today, all pending proceedings for sexual harassment have been canceled.
For an illustration of who is behind this Constitutional Council, see here their photos and bios (out of 11 members, 9 are men).
So, you know, effective today, it is actually legal to sexually harass women in France.
Jon Stewart (via junehymn)
When a girl tells you if you were the last man on earth she wouldn’t have sex with you, whisper: “Who would stop me?”. It shuts her up fast.
If a man ever says that to you, ladies, look him dead in the eyes and say, “I would.” If you have a blade, a personal tazer, or any other purchased or self fashioned weapon, now would be the time to lay it on the table. It shuts misogynists up fast.
Homeboy, you need to get your little rapist problem checked the fuck out. As in, you might be one.
so many proud rapists in the world.
i just wanna crawl under a rock forever.
Advice: carry a derringer. The bullets won’t kill him, but the gun fits in your purse and the wounds will forever remind him of the error of his ways.
I wish a man would say some shit like that to me. I’d slit his throat and make it look like an accident.
*googles derringer, daydreams about stabbing OP in the face*
You’ll want probably a .22 caliber as the recoil is low and it’s easier to get off a second shot if necessary, and you’ll want to load it with CSI minimag hollowpoint rounds. They’re generally non-lethal through the body, and shooting below the waist isn’t classified as attempted murder but stings like a motherfucker and does shock to the nervous system. Also .22 bullets frequently mushroom on impact making a match to a specific firearm difficult, if not impossible, and the shells don’t eject from the gun upon firing like they do in a semi-auto, so you don’t have to worry about picking up your brass if you need to peace out. Buy one, shoot it a lot if you have a range nearby or can shoot in your yard if you live outside of city limits. It’s very important to be comfortable and familiar with the operation of your weapon.
Like, I really wish a man could try that on me so I can finally say that I have removed a human life from this world. You don’t know just how deep this rabbit hole goes, but if you ever want to find out, you do that shit with me. Just once.
I will make sure there isn’t anything for the coroners to pick up.
yo, i legit start thinking about how i could successfully discard of a body. and i have not one ounce of shame or guilt about dat shit.
try me again and i will kill you.
Actually, disposing of a body is very, very easy. A lot easier than most people think.
Also, I advise ladies to start carrying switch blades or butterfly knives in your purses. I took Krav Maga classes and they actually do teach you how to fight with a knife, also, learn about the vital areas of the human body. Where to wound, and where to mortally wound. It’s really easy to stab someone (I have done it before), but if you don’t know where the vital organs are, you won’t incapacitate your attacker long enough to get away. Always aim for the liver, kidneys, and stomach, as there’s no bone resistance there (and these are common areas people are LEAST likely to protect), and blood poisoning happens pretty fast. If you’re fast enough, aim for the throat or the temple. These are kill shots, so be careful.
Pepper spray and mace are also good to carry around. Don’t be afraid to burn that fucker’s eyes right out of his skull.
Tasers work too, but like the knife, aim for sensitive areas on the body. If he’s already in the middle of the act, go immediately for the groin or even the face.
If you lack any of these items, fist, tooth, and nails are always viable options. Don’t ever be afraid to be a savage to defend yourself. Your attacker isn’t greasing their knuckles to make sure their hits don’t harm you, so you shouldn’t be afraid to put the hurting to that fucker with whatever you can get your hands on. I find that getting a grip on the face and pressing your thumbnails into the eye sockets will weaken them enough for you to get away. Use anything within reach to kick their ass, or beat them over the head with. This is all self-defense, so if they die in the process, it’s their fault for being an aggressor.
Honestly, I wouldn’t recommend getting a gun unless you intend to shoot to kill. I own one because I fully intend to kill my attacker (I’m pretty handy with a pistol and a shotgun). But the other stuff is good for wounding and getting to a safe space to call the proper authorities.
These are just tips and tricks I’ve picked up from various self-defense courses, and from my own…ahem…studies on the off chance I ever have this kind of encounter again.
Be prepared. It never hurts to be prepared.
yeah, i wouldnt ever own a gun. i only know how to shoot to kill. its a natural skill. :|
what can i say. i have a steady hand. but sad we even have to have a plan in place.
Same here. Then again, I’ve been TRAINED not to hesitate to shoot, but my advice was mostly for women who have never fired a gun before, and have never actually seen a bullet put in a real body before.
I do keep a pair of knives in my purse at all times, however. Easily concealed, and weapons my attacker wouldn’t be expecting me to have in my possession.
Honestly, I blame my childhood for this. I’ve wanted to be an assassin since I was six years old. Concealing weapons or objects that can become weapons is a goddamn pastime for me. xD
Also going to reblog Austin’s post on the topic, as it has some nice information about guns. I tend to prefer knives myself, but if/when I’m living alone, that may change.