Posts tagged Writing
Posts tagged Writing
Whenever people point to Mary Shelley and say “a woman invented sci-fi you know” I just think “well, I mean, technically a woman invented the whole concept of authoring books as far as we can tell but hey who’s keeping track”
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
- Avoid Alliteration. Always.
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
- Avoid cliches like the plague. (Theyre old hat.)
- Employ the vernacular.
- Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Contractions arent necessary.
- Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
- One should never generalize.
- Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
- Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
- Dont be redundant; dont use more words than necessary; its highly superfluous.
- Profanity sucks.
- Be more or less specific.
- Understatement is always best.
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
- One word sentences? Eliminate.
- Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
- The passive voice is to be avoided.
- Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
- Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters
we need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay
“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”
"The Galaxy, which had been enjoying a period of unusual peace and prosperity at the time, reeled like a man getting mugged in a meadow.”
"it was a deep, hollow malevolent voice which sounded like molten tar glurping out of a drum with evil on its mind.”
"Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”
"… a large and voluminous creature who looked like someone losing a fight with a pink duvet …”
"He screwed up his face and then dropped his head forward, shaking it like someone trying to shake a coin out of a money box.”
"He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”
"He leapt to his feet like an author hearing the phone ring”
"he started to stalk forward slowly and stealthily wearing a puzzled frown of concentration, like a leopard that’s not sure whether it’s just seen a half-empty tin of cat food half a mile away across a hot and dusty plain.”
"it looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”
"If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”
You forgot one of the best ones:
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t."
it’s a shame the original caption for this is gone bc it was a really nice story. An author decided
heshe wanted hisher 2000-ish word essay tattooed onto people, but only one word per person, if someone was to die, the story would be gone.
It’s kind of amazing to think, imagine being that author and having a story that could never be read, yet it could be anywhere in the world. idk man I just think it’s pretty incredible.
"Shelley Jackson’s Skin project, a 2095-word story published exclusively in tattoos, one word each on as many willing volunteers, so it can never be read in its proper order, but just exists, pulsing, out in the world at all times."
You know what’s the coolest part? If those 2095 people where ever to get together and try to write the story, they have extremely high chances of writing a different story that the one the author intended. They’d even want to write a different story each. With no more clues than punctuation, and 2095 words floating around and 2095 people being part of it, Shelley Jackson story is just one in a hundred possible stories.
do you think like 600 years ago book nerds got real mad when the printing press was invented because filthy casuals could get books without having to copy them out themselves
Actually yes they did
and there were certain ancient Greeks who were angry when writing was invented, because it meant that literature was more accessible to the filthy casual masses
true shit, people
People never change do they
we got taller