Goodbye Omelas

The revolution will be adorable.

Posts tagged nomnomnom

440 notes

coffeebuddha:

In real life, this cake practically glows with the amount of hatred and vitriol that I poured into it. Every ‘fuck’ and ‘god damn it’ that fell from my lips gave it a little extra shimmer. I swear to god that this is the smuggest cake I’ve ever decorated. I’m glad it was just for practice, because if I was actually selling this to someone, I’d feel the need to warn them, because it’s entirely possible this is like the Amityville of cakes. At more than one point I felt the urge to go find an axe and recreate the ‘Heeeeeeere’s Johnny!’ scene from The Shining.
It doesn’t come across as much in the picture, but believe me. In real life? This cake is a dick.

coffeebuddha:

In real life, this cake practically glows with the amount of hatred and vitriol that I poured into it. Every ‘fuck’ and ‘god damn it’ that fell from my lips gave it a little extra shimmer. I swear to god that this is the smuggest cake I’ve ever decorated. I’m glad it was just for practice, because if I was actually selling this to someone, I’d feel the need to warn them, because it’s entirely possible this is like the Amityville of cakes. At more than one point I felt the urge to go find an axe and recreate the ‘Heeeeeeere’s Johnny!’ scene from The Shining.

It doesn’t come across as much in the picture, but believe me. In real life? This cake is a dick.

(via knitmeapony)

Filed under Cake nomnomnom

22 notes

knitmeapony:

lizzybees:

Okay, so here are my cupcake flavors:

Iron Man - Tuxedo chocolate/vanilla marble cake w/ cream cheese filling & chocolate ganache

Captain Marvel - Chocolate cake with Reese’s peanut butter cup chunks & PB Frosting

Hulk - Chocolate cake with Andes mints, chocolate mint buttercream

Hawkeye - Chocolate cake with pecans, caramel filling, and caramel buttercream frosting

Captain America - Vanilla Bean cake with vanilla buttercream

Black Widow - Vanilla cake with red raspberry marbling & White Chocolate frosting

Deadpool - Red Velvet Cake w/ Cream Cheese Frosting

Thor - Hazelnut cake w/ Nutella Frosting

*CACKLE*

Filed under Avengers Cake nomnomnom

15,918 notes

sliceofbri:

I MADE A PROMISE THAT I WOULD NEVER MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES I’VE GOT KNOWLEDGE TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD SO IT’S THE FUCKING SUGAR SCRUB CRAYON LIPSTICK BITCH BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL.
I BET YOU THOUGHT THAT PHOTO WAS JUST SOME FUCKING CHOCOLATE WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG MUTHAFUCKA THAT SHIT IS CHOCOLATE GANACHE AND IT IS WAY EASIER TO HANDLE THAN MELTED CHOCOLATE AND IT HAS ABOUT A BAJILLION USES

GET YOURSELF SOME GOOD ASS DARK OR SEMISWEET CHOCOLATE LIKE THE KIND YOU BAKE WITH OR GO GET SOME FANCY ASS CHUNKS FROM WHOLE FOODS JUST NO MILK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE ALL DARK BABY ABOUT 8-12 OZ OR ABOUT 2 CUPS OR 1 STANDARD BAG OF CHIPS HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU WANNA MEASURE IT JUST PUT IT IN A GODDAMN BOWL ALREADY

I HOPE YOU’RE READY BECAUSE THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET HEAVY. HEAVY WHIPPING CREAM THAT IS. GET ABOUT A CUP OF THAT THERE SWEET LIQUID OR 8 OZ AND HEAT IT WITH YOUR EYE LAZERS OR THE MICROWAVE I DON’T FUCKING CARE MAYBE YOU EVEN BUST OUT A SAUCEPAN JUST DON’T LET THAT SHIT BOIL YOU WANT IT PRETTY FUCKIN HOT THO
NOW POUR IT ONTO YOUR CHIPS AND START WHISKING. IF YOU DON’T HAVE A WHISK, JUST THROW THE BOWL AT A WALL A FEW TIMES BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY LIVE IN THE STONE AGE OR ARE A BROKE COLLEGE KID WHY ARE YOU MAKING GANACHE ANYWAY

AT FIRST IT’S GUNNA LOOK LIKE SOME WEIRD CHUNKY MILK AND YOU’RE PROBABLY GOING TO SPLASH IT ON THE COUNTER A BIT AND YOU’LL BE LIKE WHAT THE FUCK BRI YOUR INSTRUCTIONS ARE FUCKING SHIT BUT KEEP WHISKING AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED WITH SMOOTH VELVET GLORY GODDAMN JUST LOOK AT IT FLOW I NEED A MOMENT
OKAY SO NOW YOU HAVE THIS BOWL OF GOOP AND YOU’RE SAYING OKAY BRI NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH THIS SHIT SLOW THE FUCK DOWN I’M GETTING THERE NOW THIS SHIT CAN BE USED FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING YOU CAN GLAZE CAKES WITH IT TO MAKE THEM GLOSSY AND FANCY

OR YOU CAN PIPE IT LIKE FROSTING TO MAKE ALL KINDS OF PRETTY BAKED GOODS

OR YOU CAN WHIP IT WITH A MIXER OR YOUR BIONIC ARMS TO MAKE A FROSTING-LIKE SUBSTANCE 
YOU MAY THINK THAT’S ENOUGH BUT I’M NOT FUCKING FINISHED YET OKAY SO YOU JUST SIT TIGHT YOU CAN WARM IT UP AND POUR IT ON ICE CREAM FOR THE BEST SUNDAE YOU’VE EVER HAD

OKAY RAPID FIRE NOW YOU CAN TOSS POPCORN IN SOME FOR CHOCOLATE POPCORN OR YOU CAN DIP COOKIES OR CRACKERS OR BISCUITS IN IT TO MAKE THEM SEEM HELLA FANCY OR YOU CAN STIR A BIG OL’ GLOP OF IT INTO WARM MILK FOR THE BEST COCOA YOU’VE EVER TASTED



AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST IT IS THE EASIEST AND MOST FUCKING DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE FONDUE YOU COULD EVER HOPE TO HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH HOLE

SO THERE YOU GO MOTHERFUCKERS NOT ONLY HOW TO MAKE GANACHE BUT HOW TO USE IT 1001 DIFFERENT WAYS NOW GO FORTH AND BE HAPPIER THAN A STOCK PHOTO WOMAN EATING CHOCOLATE CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS

sliceofbri:

I MADE A PROMISE THAT I WOULD NEVER MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES I’VE GOT KNOWLEDGE TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD SO IT’S THE FUCKING SUGAR SCRUB CRAYON LIPSTICK BITCH BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL.

I BET YOU THOUGHT THAT PHOTO WAS JUST SOME FUCKING CHOCOLATE WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG MUTHAFUCKA THAT SHIT IS CHOCOLATE GANACHE AND IT IS WAY EASIER TO HANDLE THAN MELTED CHOCOLATE AND IT HAS ABOUT A BAJILLION USES

GET YOURSELF SOME GOOD ASS DARK OR SEMISWEET CHOCOLATE LIKE THE KIND YOU BAKE WITH OR GO GET SOME FANCY ASS CHUNKS FROM WHOLE FOODS JUST NO MILK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE ALL DARK BABY ABOUT 8-12 OZ OR ABOUT 2 CUPS OR 1 STANDARD BAG OF CHIPS HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU WANNA MEASURE IT JUST PUT IT IN A GODDAMN BOWL ALREADY

I HOPE YOU’RE READY BECAUSE THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET HEAVY. HEAVY WHIPPING CREAM THAT IS. GET ABOUT A CUP OF THAT THERE SWEET LIQUID OR 8 OZ AND HEAT IT WITH YOUR EYE LAZERS OR THE MICROWAVE I DON’T FUCKING CARE MAYBE YOU EVEN BUST OUT A SAUCEPAN JUST DON’T LET THAT SHIT BOIL YOU WANT IT PRETTY FUCKIN HOT THO

NOW POUR IT ONTO YOUR CHIPS AND START WHISKING. IF YOU DON’T HAVE A WHISK, JUST THROW THE BOWL AT A WALL A FEW TIMES BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY LIVE IN THE STONE AGE OR ARE A BROKE COLLEGE KID WHY ARE YOU MAKING GANACHE ANYWAY

AT FIRST IT’S GUNNA LOOK LIKE SOME WEIRD CHUNKY MILK AND YOU’RE PROBABLY GOING TO SPLASH IT ON THE COUNTER A BIT AND YOU’LL BE LIKE WHAT THE FUCK BRI YOUR INSTRUCTIONS ARE FUCKING SHIT BUT KEEP WHISKING AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED WITH SMOOTH VELVET GLORY GODDAMN JUST LOOK AT IT FLOW I NEED A MOMENT

OKAY SO NOW YOU HAVE THIS BOWL OF GOOP AND YOU’RE SAYING OKAY BRI NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH THIS SHIT SLOW THE FUCK DOWN I’M GETTING THERE NOW THIS SHIT CAN BE USED FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING YOU CAN GLAZE CAKES WITH IT TO MAKE THEM GLOSSY AND FANCY

OR YOU CAN PIPE IT LIKE FROSTING TO MAKE ALL KINDS OF PRETTY BAKED GOODS

OR YOU CAN WHIP IT WITH A MIXER OR YOUR BIONIC ARMS TO MAKE A FROSTING-LIKE SUBSTANCE 

YOU MAY THINK THAT’S ENOUGH BUT I’M NOT FUCKING FINISHED YET OKAY SO YOU JUST SIT TIGHT YOU CAN WARM IT UP AND POUR IT ON ICE CREAM FOR THE BEST SUNDAE YOU’VE EVER HAD

OKAY RAPID FIRE NOW YOU CAN TOSS POPCORN IN SOME FOR CHOCOLATE POPCORN OR YOU CAN DIP COOKIES OR CRACKERS OR BISCUITS IN IT TO MAKE THEM SEEM HELLA FANCY OR YOU CAN STIR A BIG OL’ GLOP OF IT INTO WARM MILK FOR THE BEST COCOA YOU’VE EVER TASTED

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST IT IS THE EASIEST AND MOST FUCKING DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE FONDUE YOU COULD EVER HOPE TO HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH HOLE

SO THERE YOU GO MOTHERFUCKERS NOT ONLY HOW TO MAKE GANACHE BUT HOW TO USE IT 1001 DIFFERENT WAYS NOW GO FORTH AND BE HAPPIER THAN A STOCK PHOTO WOMAN EATING CHOCOLATE CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS

(via knitmeapony)

Filed under Recipes Dessert Chocolate nomnomnom